…And not my best photo op, literally sick and tired.
My weight change is +1 lb this week, and obviously +1 lb for the pregnancy. This week I caught a summer cold, and it has chased off most of my pregnancy symptoms completely! I am still quite tired and not sleeping well, but that can be attributed to the cold just as much as the pregnancy. The nausea is completely gone, and I only get the mild cramps (honestly feeling more like mild contractions!) once in a rare while. The disappearing symptoms is trying to make me worry, but I’m holding it off for now since there’s honestly no sign there’s anything wrong, and most women don’t get symptoms at all until around 6 weeks.
Mentally, I am kind of jittery, though. A lot of the time, I’ll be doing something – cleaning, carrying Danny, playing with Eric – and I’ll have an errant thought wondering if what I’m doing is safe, or if what I’m doing is going to start the row of dominoes that disabled or kills this baby. Nice thought, isn’t it? It’s not making me panic, but it’s certainly making me worry and wonder. I sincerely pray nothing happens, because I know I’ll forever be staring back and analyzing every little thing I did. Common sense tends to rule in the end, but there is definitely a spectre following me this time around.
Around now, I’m about 4 weeks pregnant. I’ve seen a few people do this sort of thing in their blogs while pregnant, and I’m a follower at heart!
My baseline weight is 160lb, I’ll start tracking changes from here. I am slightly queasy with sore breasts, a stretched feeling in my stomach, and bouts of exhaustion. No inclination toward whether I’m carrying a boy or a girl. I’m waking up a few times a night, having vivid dreams in between wakings, and can’t seem to sleep past 5:30am all of a sudden. I’ve not called to make my first appointment yet; I’ll do that in a few weeks, since I know they generally don’t schedule anything until 10+ weeks anyway. So far, I’m doing well pushing away the fear and just taking it a day at a time. There’s some worry that something will go wrong, but it’s not nearly as strong as I thought it would be – yet. Mostly, I’m just excited!
When I was pregnant with Danny, I made a comment that it was very different. It was – I was more tired, less nauseated, things started at different times. But honestly, I made that statement just because the nausea was less. I was feeling better.
This time, I know what Different is.
I realize that I’m only about 4 weeks along, but already, I’m noticing a lot of things that I never noticed in my last pregnancies. My stomach muscles are going crazy – I’m getting the occasional cramp, but more often, they’re just feeling stretched and sore. It’s that feeling like I’ve slept just a little wrong and things got a little twisted. I don’t remember that, even in later stages of pregnancy! My breasts, too… I’m getting sore moments, the odd sharp pain, and a frequent “full” tingle like I used to get when I was nursing. They’re warm, they’re tender, they’re just…obviously changing. I know I had a bit of tenderness with the last pregnancies, but it was nothing like that!
As for the nausea, it still comes and goes, more as a queasy and uneasy feeling than true nausea. I expect that to get worse before it gets better, but for now, I’m enjoying it being so mild! I’m definitely more tired all of a sudden; I was doing well, and then today around lunch, I slammed into a wave of exhaustion that wouldn’t let up until I’d taken a two hour nap. (Thank you, John!!)
It boggles me that I’m feeling all of this so early. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more aware or because things are actually hitting much earlier this time, but that, also, seems very different to me.
…a second little line.
This is, according to Fertility Friend at least, 12dpo – I’m still not convinced of that, but with as early as the nausea started and as early as I got the positive, it’s possible.
I woke up this morning determined not to test until at least tomorrow, but by around noon, the off and on nausea was becoming annoying, and the test under my sink was calling to me… I honestly didn’t expect anything. It’s early (Danny didn’t test positive until 14dpo, with a negative at 12), and it was the middle of the day. When, 15 seconds after taking the test, I saw a shadow of a line, I brushed it off as me seeing things. Then it got darker. OK, so it’s not hugely dark, but it’s definitely there – the picture doesn’t do it full justice. At first, I took it in stride. Then I realized I was carrying it around with me, glancing at it every 30 seconds or so to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. By the time I texted John, I was tearing up a little.
The tally? I’ve got off and on nausea all day, tender/full feeling breasts, and vivid & memorable dreams (more than usual). My current weight (officially the pre-pregnancy weight!) is 160lb even. Depending on how you calculate it, I am due between March 9 (according to Fertility Friend) and March 12 (according to last menstrual period), making me 3 weeks and 3-6 days along.
I’m still hesitant about having 3 – it’s a bit overwhelming and scary, especially with the fear of having another special needs kid – but I am also so darn excited. So thankful.
I just hope I don’t mess it up.
That pretty much sums up where I’m at right now. I refuse to test until at least 12dpo at this point, so 2 more days, and I refuse to read into anything I’m feeling until then. However, I’ve had mild nausea off and on all day today. My dreams have continued to be long, involved, and memorable, though for the past 2 nights I’ve been waking up due to storms in the area, so I can’t say if I’d remember them without the interruptions. To go along with this, once in a while I’ll have a brief shooting…not pain, but discomfort, in my breasts, as well as sometimes having a tingling feeling that is most akin to when I was nursing and they were starting to feel full.
The more I go along, the more I’m totally embracing the idea of having this baby and Danny have birthdays close together. It’s not an exciting thing still, but I can definitely deal with it – and I just want to be pregnant and get this show on the road!
I’m not convinced that I’m 8dpo; truth told, I think it’s more 6-7, but my temps were a little wacky this month and Fertility Friend seems to think I ovulated on CD12. Whatever. As a result of the wacky temps and my determination to not obsess as much, I stopped temping around CD15 anyway. It’s been great so far; it’s still on my mind, but not going into the chart every morning is making it easier for me to just put it on the back burner. The time is passing quicker for it!
Regardless of where I am, I’m suddenly having crazy dreams, and lots of them. I know the hormone shift after implantation can do that, so again, in case I am pregnant I want to record it as my first symptom. I occasionally have a single epic dream that I remember, but the past 2 nights I’ve had about 5 of them, long and involved and remembered so well that I can still visualize the ones I had night before last.
If this is going to be a pregnancy thing for me this time around, bring it on – they are a lot of fun!