“If you want to publish, then at some point we’re going to read it.”

Yep. Oh goodness, yep. I was at lunch with friends, and we were talking about my writing. More specifically, we were talking about why they had never read my writing.

It has been years since I have shared my writing with anyone beyond the anonymous Internet. I’ve shared some fanfiction on sites, to good feedback, but have not had an actual, physical person in my life read my writing in over a decade. Somewhere along the way, I got scared. Shy. Insecure.

But if I’m going to actually make my writing a book, paper and glue and physically hold it in my hands, someone is going to find it and read it. Someone I know. Someone who might love it, someone who might hate it. Sharing this world in my head with anonymous people is one thing, but sharing it with those I see in my day to day life feels…strange and unfamiliar.

Imagine holding conversations over lunch about my characters, my world, my story. It’s ludicrous. It’s incredible.

I looked myself in the mirror and realized that I want that. It is scary, putting this piece of my soul out there, but also exhilarating. I want to one day hand a book to someone and say, “I wrote this!”

This fall, I plan to start querying my first book out. It can be a long and tiring process, but it is step one, and a step I am getting more and more anxious to take. With a little luck and a lot of work, that moment where I hand my book to someone could happen next year.

I want it. Bad.